It was five years ago today--April 3, 2019--that I made the first official Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do)announcement of my intention to write a book called The Greatest Record Ever Made. You can read that announcement here. The announcement on the blog was preceded by a Facebook post the day before:
"This year, I'm determined to finally achieve my long-time goal of writing a book. Specifically, I'm working on a collection of my essays celebrating THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE, individual songs that at least temporarily occupy the entirety of the known universe for the duration of their playing time. I have roughly 42,000 words written, with an intent to write 14 more entries. No idea whether or not I'll be able to find a publisher, but it's gotta start with the manuscript. Tentative table of contents will post tomorrow. As always: an infinite number of records can be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns."
42,000+ words. 50 songs. How quaint.
But I attacked the project in earnest. The book was based on a blog series that began with a celebration of Badfinger's "Baby Blue" on October 27, 2016. I wrote more entries, expanding the contents to larger and larger numbers. I got an agent. I revised the Table of Contents again and again and again and yadda yadda. I adjusted the title to The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). I wrote a formal book proposal. And...and...
...nothing happened. Sorry to say that status hasn't really changed.
A pandemic sure didn't help the situation. My agent and I parted company, amicably. Disheartened but stubborn, I've continued to work onGREM!, and basically finished writing it at the beginning of 2022. I still tweak it here and there, but it's essentially done: 145 tracks, a little under 115,000 words, detailed here. I'm happy with it, and I hope you get to read it someday. The summer 2023 proposed Table of Contents remains in place (with one song added since its previous posting):
FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide ToThe Greatest Record Ever Made!)
THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?
BADFINGER: Baby Blue
CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
WILLIE MAE "BIG MAMA" THORNTON: Hound Dog
PATTI SMITH: Gloria
LITTLE RICHARD AND HIS BAND: The Girl Can't Help It
NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'
WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
MELANIE WITH THE EDWIN HAWKINS SINGERS: Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)
PETULA CLARK: Downtown
NELSON RIDDLE: Batman Theme
ARTHUR ALEXANDER: Soldier Of Love
TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
MERLE HAGGARD AND THE STRANGERS: Mama Tried
THE TEMPTATIONS: Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
ROBERTA FLACK: Killing Me Softly With His Song
JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
ARTHUR CONLEY: Sweet Soul Music
OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme FromHead)
PRINCE: When You Were Mine
THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
THE KINGSMEN: Louie, Louie
BARON DAEMON AND THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
THE MARVELETTES: I'll Keep Holding On
THE WHO: I Can't Explain
TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
SHOES: Tomorrow Night
THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
TELEVISION: Elevation
THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
SMOKEY ROBINSON AND THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
IKE AND TINA TURNER: River Deep--Mountain High
THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
KISS: Shout It Out Loud
THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
INTERLUDEThe Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
THE PANDORAS: It's About Time
MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine LINDA RONSTADT: You're No Good P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
THE DANDY WARHOLS: We Used To Be Friends
SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
BIG STAR: September Gurls
THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take Five
THE NEW p*rnOGRAPHERS: All For Swinging You Around
THE BEATLES: Yesterday
THE BEATLES: Revolution
YOKO ONO: Kiss Kiss Kiss
DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
HEART: Kick It Out
PAUL COLLINS/THE BREAKAWAYS: Walking Out On Love
THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
THE BYRDS: Eight Miles High
THE CHAMBERS BROTHERS: Time Has Come Today
BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action THE CARPENTERS: Only Yesterday
MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
THE 5TH DIMENSION: Medley: Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In (The Flesh Failures)
THE JACKSON FIVE: I'll Be There
SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
THE BANGLES: Live
HEADGIRL/MÖTOR HEADGIRL SCHOOL: Please Don't Touch
MILLIE SMALL: My Boy Lollipop
THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY: I Woke Up In Love This Morning
SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
THE BANDWAGON: Breakin' Down The Walls Of Heartache
DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
GRANDMASTER AND MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
DEL SHANNON: Runaway
THE co*ckTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
SAM AND DAVE: Soul Man
THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
HOLLY GOLIGHTLY: Time Will Tell
THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
VERDELLE SMITH: Life Goes On
INTERLUDEOld Time Rock 'n' Roll
THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
JIVE FIVE WITH EUGENE PITT: What Time Is It?
LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On
THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
RASPBERRIES: Overnight Sensation (Hit Record)
THE SELECTER: On My Radio
TRACEY ULLMAN: They Don't Know
MANNIX: Highway Lines
THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
THE COASTERS: Yakety Yak
CHEAP TRICK: Surrender
TEGAN AND SARA: Walking With A Ghost
DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
RITA MORENO, GEORGE CHAKIRIS, SHARKS & GIRLS: America
EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
JOAN JETT: Bad Reputation
JOAN ARMATRADING: Me Myself I
STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
MARYKATE O'NEIL: I'm Ready For My Luck To Turn Around
EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDEUnderrating The Beatles
THE BEATLES: Rain
OUTRO(My first GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE!): THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
AFTERWORD
In the mean time, I began a conversation with the good folks at Rare Bird Booksabout a book collecting my 1994 interviews with the Ramones. Rare Bird publishedGabba Gabba Hey! A Conversation With The Ramones in May of 2023, not quite a year ago. Hijinks ensued.
I insist that GREM!ain't dead yet. Its manuscript is in the hands of a potential publisher, and that publisher has not said NO!!!, at least not as of right now. Hope lives to fight another day.
And hope, man? Hope is the greatest thing ever.
If you like what you see here onBoppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do), please consider a visit toCC's Tip Jar.
Carl's new bookGabba Gabba Hey! A Conversation With The Ramonesis now available, courtesy of the good folks atRare Bird Books. Gabba Gabba YAY!!https://rarebirdlit.com/gabba-gabba-hey-a-conversation-with-the-ramones-by-carl-cafarelli/
If it's true that one book leads to another, my next book will beThe Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). Stay tuned. Your turn is coming.
This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carlairs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse atSPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, streaming atSPARK streamand on theRadio Gardenapp asWESTCOTT RADIO. Recent shows arearchived atWestcott Radio. You can read about our historyhere.
I'm on Twitter@CafarelliCarl
